Your Tango: Books to Help When Getting Divorced


Thank you to Jen Billock for including me in her article for Your Tango, 10 Most Helpful Divorce Books — Recommended By Actual Divorced Women”

“Reading books helps — these ten are some of the best lesser-known books to read, as recommended by writers and divorcees:”

6. Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success by David B. Feldman and Lee Daniel Kravetz

Written by two psychologists, this book explores a phenomenon often undiscussed after trauma: when someone “bounces forward,” or pushes past traumatic events like divorce to become even better and more successful. Give yourself a post-tragedy confidence boost with this read.

“During my divorce, I felt like a failure. I felt embarrassed and worried about what to tell people. I read books like a lifeline to the future. I wanted something to make me feel better. I told everyone I was living in CrazyTown and I could not stop crying. When I read David Feldman and Lee Daniel Kravetz’s book Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success, I was shocked to learn that “the disorientation and groundlessness experienced by many people after trauma can ultimately be advantageous.” 

I figured that my post-traumatic growth was going to be superb since I had leaned in so hard to my feelings I had dug underground. A huge shift for me was when I read this: “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different. … Forgiveness means breaking the psychological ties that bind you to the past, giving up the quest to change what has already happened. … Rather than dwelling on the past, she found herself asking the hopeful and forward-looking question ‘What now?’”

I was stuck in a loop in my head that said, “If only I had never met him.” Once I read that part of the book, I remembered that you cannot drive into the future if you only look through the rear-view mirror.”

Lisa Niver, journalist


Lisa Ellen Niver

Lisa Niver is an award-winning travel expert who has explored 102 countries on six continents. This University of Pennsylvania graduate sailed across the seas for seven years with Princess Cruises, Royal Caribbean, and Renaissance Cruises and spent three years backpacking across Asia. Discover her articles in publications from AARP: The Magazine and AAA Explorer to WIRED and Wharton Magazine, as well as her site WeSaidGoTravel. On her award nominated global podcast, Make Your Own Map, Niver has interviewed Deepak Chopra, Olympic medalists, and numerous bestselling authors, and as a journalist has been invited to both the Oscars and the United Nations. For her print and digital stories as well as her television segments, she has been awarded three Southern California Journalism Awards and two National Arts and Entertainment Journalism Awards and been a finalist twenty-two times. Named a #3 travel influencer for 2023, Niver talks travel on broadcast television at KTLA TV Los Angeles, her YouTube channel with over 2 million views, and in her memoir, Brave-ish, One Breakup, Six Continents and Feeling Fearless After Fifty.

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