Your Tango: Books to Help When Getting Divorced


Thank you to Jen Billock for including me in her article for Your Tango, 10 Most Helpful Divorce Books — Recommended By Actual Divorced Women”

“Reading books helps — these ten are some of the best lesser-known books to read, as recommended by writers and divorcees:”

6. Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success by David B. Feldman and Lee Daniel Kravetz

Written by two psychologists, this book explores a phenomenon often undiscussed after trauma: when someone “bounces forward,” or pushes past traumatic events like divorce to become even better and more successful. Give yourself a post-tragedy confidence boost with this read.

“During my divorce, I felt like a failure. I felt embarrassed and worried about what to tell people. I read books like a lifeline to the future. I wanted something to make me feel better. I told everyone I was living in CrazyTown and I could not stop crying. When I read David Feldman and Lee Daniel Kravetz’s book Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success, I was shocked to learn that “the disorientation and groundlessness experienced by many people after trauma can ultimately be advantageous.” 

I figured that my post-traumatic growth was going to be superb since I had leaned in so hard to my feelings I had dug underground. A huge shift for me was when I read this: “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different. … Forgiveness means breaking the psychological ties that bind you to the past, giving up the quest to change what has already happened. … Rather than dwelling on the past, she found herself asking the hopeful and forward-looking question ‘What now?’”

I was stuck in a loop in my head that said, “If only I had never met him.” Once I read that part of the book, I remembered that you cannot drive into the future if you only look through the rear-view mirror.”

Lisa Niver, journalist


Lisa Ellen Niver

Lisa Ellen Niver, M.A. Education, is a science teacher and is an award-winning travel expert who has explored 101 countries and six continents. A graduate of the University of Pennsylvania, she worked on cruise ships for seven years and backpacked for three years in Asia. You can find her talking travel at KTLA TV and in her We Said Go Travel videos with over 1.3 million views on her YouTube channel. As a journalist, Niver has interviewed an Olympic swimmer and numerous bestselling authors and has been invited to both the Oscars and the United Nations. She is the founder of We Said Go Travel which is read in 235 countries and was named #3 on Rise Global’s top 1,000 Travel Blogs. She was named both a Top 10 Travel Influencer and a Top 50 Female Influencer for 2021 by Afluencer and is the Social Media Manager for the Los Angeles Press Club. She has been nominated for the inaugural Forbes 50 over 50/Know Your Value list due out in Summer 2021. She has hosted Facebook Live for USA Today 10best and has more than 150,000 followers across social media. Niver is a judge for the Gracies Awards for the Alliance of Women in Media and has also run 15 travel competitions publishing over 2,500 writers and photographers from 75 countries on We Said Go Travel. For her print and digital stories as well as her television segments, she has been awarded two Southern California Journalism Awards and two National Arts and Entertainment Journalism Awards. From 2017 to 2021 in the Southern California Journalism Awards and National Arts and Entertainment Journalism Awards, she has won four times for her broadcast television segments, print and digital articles. Niver won in 2021 as Book Critic and in 2019 for one of her KTLA TV segments NAEJ (National Arts and Entertainment Journalism) award. Niver won an award for her print magazine article for Hemispheres Magazine for United Airlines in the 2020 Southern California Journalism Awards and a 2017 Southern California Journalism Award for her print story for the Jewish Journal. Niver has written for National Geographic, USA Today 10best, TODAY, Teen Vogue, POPSUGAR, Ms. Magazine, Luxury Magazine, Smithsonian, Sierra Club, Saturday Evening Post, AARP, American Airways, Delta Sky, En Route (Air Canada), Hemispheres, Jewish Journal, Myanmar Times, Robb Report, Scuba Diver Life, Ski Utah, Trivago, Undomesticated, Wharton Magazine and Yahoo. She is writing a book, “Brave(ish): It's All About Perspective 50 Adventures Before 50,” about her most recent travels and insights. When she's not SCUBA diving or in her art studio making ceramics, she's helping people find their next dream trip.

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