Seeking Peace
“We seek peace, knowing that peace is the climate of freedom.” Dwight D Eisenhower
The water slapped against the side of my kayak as a wave rolled in from the wake of yet another speedboat carrying tourists to and from Loh Dalum Bay. I paused to redirect the kayak, cutting through the disturbances in the water and paddled onwards, towards an undetermined destination. The island of Koh Phi Phi is one of Thailand’s most popular destinations due to its unique beauty and ability to shamelessly cater to foreign tastes. Hundreds of beautiful people from all over the globe flock to the island each day to bask on white sand beaches and revel in a resonating night life. It was these hundreds of people speaking foreign tongues and offering up skin to the sun that pushed me towards the kayak vendor, seeking a route of escape. I paid my deposit of 200 baht and quickly started paddling towards the sea and away from the hectic beach. A few other kayaks were up ahead, turning left. I paused, and then turned right.
For a brief moment I regretted my decision, as tourist boats sped past. Some slowed to allow passengers to stare and wave at me but others disregarded my existence altogether, leaving me to rock back and forth in their frothy wakes. I paddled on, not knowing where I was going and with no destination in mind besides the next curve of the island. I set my sights on the next impressive precipice, and then the next, knowing each rocky outcropping might be hiding something novel and beautiful. I hit a rhythm in my paddling and my strokes became confident and calm. The boats became less frequent and the thrill of being out on the sea alone to explore stirred a smile in my heart. I saw long tail boat up ahead taking tourists into the sea caves carved into the cliffs and paddled past them, searching for a place of solitude. In the next cove I found a shallow inlet to a stunning blue lagoon. The opening was too narrow for tourist boats to invade but my kayak could easily navigate the entrance. I waited for a small wave to sweep my kayak over the reef and into the pool and then set down my paddle to drift to the center of my newfound paradise. I lay back, letting my feet dangle off the side and into the warm and beckoning water. Closing my eyes, I let the sun radiate heat into my bones.
The sense of freedom had been growing from the beginning of my journey in Thailand. I travelled to South East Asia alone, on a three week backpacking adventure to find something worth remembering. What began as a busy itinerary in Bangkok and Chiang Mai was slowing to match the rhythm of the southern islands. An introvert at heart, I spent each day of the trip soaking in as much culture and new sights as possible but also craving the quiet moments of reflection. The privacy and quiet beauty of that lagoon nestled in Koh Phi Phi’s shoreline welcomed me, and I found myself feeling as though time had no influence there; I was far from home but completely at peace.
Back home in America, the word “freedom” is often tied to mental images of fireworks, stars and stripes waving in the breeze, and patriotic history lessons. My understanding of liberty has always been a loud declaration, an announcement filled with pride and victory. Yet I have never felt freedom as tangible as I did while lying in the tranquillity of that lagoon. Not a soul knew where I was, or what I was doing at that very moment. I was completely alone in that sparkling blue corner of the world, with only the sound of the tide shifting and the birds nesting in the rock face to fill my thoughts. I could stay and rest or push out and explore. They were simple choices, but they belonged to me. Within the peaceful minutes spent drifting in the lagoon, I let my mind throw off the weight of responsibility and ambition and settle into the warmth of the moment.
That evening, back at a pulsing beach bar with a strongly mixed cocktail in hand, I stared across the bay to where the spilled ink sky blended into the Andaman Sea. In one more week, I would return to my life at university and back to a routine of lectures, meetings, and late nights of studying. But out there in that kayak I had found precious moments of peace, and in that peace was a freedom to go wherever I wanted and become whatever I aspired to be. New friends pulled me back into the party, towards the fire throwers and thumping music. I laughed and let them usher me into the crowd. My bags were packed for the morning ferry, ready for a new day and a new adventure to unfold. The waters ahead would be new to me, but I could steer my kayak in any direction and see where it might lead.
About the Author: JoAnna Faircloth: Originally from the USA, currently a veterinary student at Massey University in New Zealand. Enjoys travelling and volunteering abroad. Backpacked through South East Asia earlier this year.
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