Salt Water and Fears in the USA
Cole and I strolled down the side of the highway with our thumbs pointing out and our backpacks weighing us down. The salty air was caressing my face and the warm wind enveloped me, gently assuring me I was in the right place. The humidity was thick and although I was pouring out sweat, I could not believe I was in Hawaii. He had convinced me not a week earlier to quit my job (without even giving my two weeks’ notice, which was a big deal for this type A girl) and buy a one way ticket to Kauai. We were meeting his girlfriend there and we hopefully had a place to crash for a few days. In that time we needed to find some jobs, somewhere to stay and completely consume ourselves with our new haole lifestyles.
I landed a job within the first week and we had a few leads on some new living digs. In the meantime we were ravaging the island with our eagerness to check out each beach, every waterfall and the bars of course. One afternoon my girlfriend Coral and I set off to go swimming down at a beach we had not been to yet. The waves weren’t too big and we dove straight in relishing in the highs and lows of the ride. We chatted about our day without paying too much attention, when we suddenly realized how far from shore we had gone. We were caught in a minor riptide and had floated a long ways out. I took a deep breath trying not to completely freak myself out, I knew we were both strong swimmers but I was absolutely terrified. We knew we needed to swim sideways to get out of the riptide before heading back towards shore. After ten minutes of constant paddling I finally looked over at Coral and said “I’m really scared”. She agreed with me but also knew that freaking out would be the worst reaction and said “Let’s just keep going, we’re making progress”. We did make it back to shore, we weren’t swept out into the ocean on our way to Alaska and our toes weren’t even nibbled by sharks; but it had been a reality check for both of us. The island had been generous in giving us a gentle reminder that she is in charge and not something to be taken for granted or messed with. We could not simply conquer the island in our ventures, she was allowing us to embrace, explore and enjoy her; but we had to do that with respect.
From that day forward I saw the island with new eyes. I had been granted access to the island that some people would never experience. I had easily landed a job, home, free yoga and friends; the island wanted me there. I went to as many farmers markets as possible so I could drink from fresh coconuts. I paused at work every evening to watch the sunset just as the locals do. I lived the local lifestyle wearing a bathing suit and slippers all day. I tried not to think about tomorrow too much or what the future held, but simply to enjoy the right now. My right now was beautiful and I knew that at some point it would end, but I did not worry about that ending. When six months later I did experience my last night on the island, she gifted me the experience of seeing a green flash. It was rad. Magical. Unforgettable. I got on my plane to the mainland later that night and shed tears as I flew away.
Call me Lady Brave, or The Traveling Woman or simply just a girl doing her girl thing in her twenties, but I had never felt more whole in my entire life. I had never before jumped in to something so deep, so far away without even testing the waters first. And these waters were immense, powerful and literally had the ability to take away your life. But I swam right in and managed to make my way back to the shore. I was whole, I was alive and I was thriving. Kauai will forever be one of the most amazing times of my life, but I am most thankful for what the island taught me. I learned to relax, let go, trust myself and be brave. I am a capable young woman; all it takes is a little bravery.
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