The Freedom in the Language Barrier
My name is Laura, and I went on pilgrimage to the Monastere of St. Joseph de Bessillon in Cotignac, France. It is the site where St. Joseph appeared in the 1600s. I went to ask St. Joseph, patron Saint of work, what I should do for my vocation, at 23 years old, and because I desired silence, I thought it fit to visit a monastery.
Buying the plane ticket was definitely a leap of faith, but I was happy to do it. I had to, something deeper in me was telling me to do it that I could not help but be obedient towards. That was freeing in itself… choosing to go to a place. I heard about this place in a magazine. I wrote them a letter and asked the nuns to pray for one of my friends going through a crisis. They wrote me back with a kind note and a brochure. We began a relationship and I asked about certainty to the nun. She replied, “Often, you are not certain until after you have made a decision.” At the time, my workplace was cutting back some of my hours and allowed us time off in August if we wanted. The website of the monastery indicated a silent retreat for young women, and I knew this was something I needed to do, especially following Pope Benedict XI’s Year of Faith encouragement for a pilgrimage. Then I received a letter for Jury Duty. That was a burden, but I was getting through it. My priest wrote a religious release letter, and after I received the approval, morally and legally I felt obligated to go on pilgrimage. And so I, by myself, knew no French, to be with God for two weeks.
Everything was a joy: the fact that I could not plug in my American phone at the Paris airport, could not print out the train ticket because I did not understand French, and then could not have full conversations with the nun who picked me up… I was free because I was helpless in a foreign land.
The monastery had a rule of silence. That was so good for me, because I did not have to feel guilty for telling others that I wanted to go read or pray. No, silence and prayer was the encouraged lifestyle. No longer was I disrupted with text messages, but was simply deciding all of my actions with what was given. We prayed seven times a day, and honestly, when each one was about to come, I found that I really needed and was looking forward to that next prayer time.
The fact that I spoke no French was really freeing for me. There are many pilgrims who visit the monastery and ask St. Joseph for prayers. One day, while on my way to prayers, a lady asked me (in French) a question. I kindly told her that I spoke no French and directed her to the doorbell and timetable posted, then hurried off to prayers.
There was always a bit of time left between prayers and the meal, or after the meal and prayers, or after the prayers and bedtime, and since the life was so simple, this time was challenging. I had to decide, okay, what do I really desire? And so I faced this emptiness, sometimes I read, other times just sat outside. And I think the life was freeing precisely because I experienced this emptiness, this need in myself.
The prayer life was freeing precisely because it was the one place where I was understood. It was where I decided things and asked for help. There, at this monastery, my friends and family were on my heart much more than ever before. It was here that I realized, “God, I hardly know you at all.”
I do not know why I felt free there, it was a complete gift, and I decided to accept it. The monastery was a place that allowed me to be like a child, without engrossed in the activities of everyone else, always talking, but just left in wonder and obedience to the daily life.
About the Author: Laura Klein is a 24 year old from the the Midwest with a B.A. in Psychology and feels most natural serving others in the restaurant business. She feels most herself when traveling, precisely because she identifies with the mode of seeking.
