I did not recognise it for what it was – a panic attack. To be honest, a series of panic attacks; a spate of them even. I just thought I was perhaps, maybe, going la-la. And yet, I needed to rise daily, feed hungry mouths, and be a responsible, nurturing adult of the mothering variety. But first, I needed to breathe. I needed to remember that I could do this, that I wasn’t going to flee far, far away, never to return, and that in my bravery I would indeed succeed – although I was terrified.
And so my beloved, in his wisdom, packed me off with sunscreen, towel, and books. “To the beach you must go,” he ordered. To the beach I went.
Not just any beach, although all hold the mysterious quality of purification and peace; but to a special beach, dear to our hearts. To the stunning Mount Maunganui, in the aptly named Bay of Plenty, on the east coast of New Zealand. The indigenous, or Maori name for Mt Maunganui is Mauao, which translates as “caught by the dawn.” It sits at the mouth of the harbour to the city of Tauranga, which means, “place of rest” or “anchorage.”
I spent days ensconced at the water’s edge where it is said negative ions (those that produce healing and restoration) far outweigh the positive ions of the hustle and bustle busyness of the world. I bathed in waters as old as time, drenched in sea-saltiness. The ocean winds blew terror and despair away, and the little lion inside began to growl and roar once more.
Pristine sand cradled my weary form as I unknowingly “earthed” myself, years before I had Googled its meaning.
Mt Maunganui is surely one of the most beautiful beaches in the world. Globally remote, but civilized enough to provide restaurants and cafes that would easily compete on the world stage. Smoothies and juices to revive the body, after a day spent refreshing the soul in the surf.
Dependant on the mood of the tides, one can surf, paddle-board, or swim through the waves. A five minute walk to the other side of the Mount and you will find yourself as happily enjoying the still waters of Pilot Bay – perfect for jet-skiing, swimming, kayaking.
The weather is stunning is summer, and fair in winter. If you feel the need to don trainers, a walk around the base of the Mount will take about forty minutes; to the summit, up to an hour – dependant on fitness. (I confess, the first time I ascended Mauao, I literally stopped to see where a rescue helicopter might land should I need help in breathing!)
Returning home after my beachside sojourn I was once again brave enough to shed my doubts and fears; even though my terrible weeks of panic had rattled me deeply, I knew I could indeed be the mother I was made to be. I would survive. In fact, I would thrive to the best of my ability.
Perhaps it is true …. Tauranga had been my “place of rest.” The sun had risen again in my world, the dawn had begun near Mauao. We loved it so much, that six months later we moved there. How bold! How beautiful!!
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