An Impressionable Journey through India

By Sapna Maria Gomez

   While sifting through the gravelled paths of my inwardly fruitful past, I now vividly see the subtle indentations that has softly marked my unquenchable past; a phase of my life that held in its abyss a soaring powerful force marginally enough to unequivocally make me stronger and courageously fearless. Then a while ago, I greatly wondered why I was no more that minimally brave person I thought I was in those formative years of my life, and how could I have possibly let my faith in the receding handful of hope and every shred of my courage I had ever owned to be dented with fear, which then by some random chance had unimaginably and invariably grown on me as I grew in a fragile world of my own, from which I could almost never free myself from for many a year up until recently….

  A thought from a thought that just wouldn’t cease, out of the unexplored nowhere had birthed itself and crept into the soul of my varying thoughts, but at last it has bravely yet steadily begun to unveil itself before me; and thus for the first time ever I have stumbled upon the theory of my life which now gently resists the fear that lay concealed in me and harshly refuses to let go of what has made me, the fragmented me I am now. I plainly see that which I had so brutally failed to see in plain sight; the stirring fear that was never in me once before has now remarkably purposed itself to undeteringly remind me of a particularly significant journey that I had once made in the year 1991 to the Virgin of Velai, a town in the Nagapattinam district in the Indian State of Tamil Nadu, which indeed was truly a memorable family pilgrimage; and it will never fade away from the recesses of my memory, even if I mustered all of my remnant energy to do so.

  But sadly in 2004, the very soil of this beautiful town witnessed the passing away of many precious lives by the so called waves that masqueraded as though they were seemingly harmless at first. Out of the absolute nowhere, their lives were snitched in a blink as the wildly ferocious Tsunami waves returned to its dwelling and receded from everyone’s sight after having rendered its merciless purpose. Nonetheless, having said that, it would be mighty wrong of me not to mention the very shrine that this aged photograph has captured, which is the Basilica of Our Lady of Good Health, very often and popularly known as the “Lourdes of the East”. This shrine was said to have been built by Portuguese sailors in the mid-sixteenth century. Meanwhile, it has been testified that during the time that the incident had occurred those who were inside this church were miraculously saved and untouched by the surging waves that hurled outside and encircled it. Sometimes, a hint of hope or a morsel of faith drawn from around or within is almost enough to inspire the bravery in us all.

  Finally coming back to my due purpose, and so as I fondly rummage through the whirling past of my clueless past, I see the undeniable truth that even the beige grains of sand that once surrounded this shrine had held for nearly a fraction of a second the firm imprint of my tender feet which I believe had then reflected the glaring strength in me. Yet now, I painfully realize that it was always within me, but never had I once tried to draw it out of myself and see how the impressionable journey that lay hidden in me, has now effortlessly embarked on its most spirited journey to inspire the fragmented me and complete the real me, who was once brave enough; yet at some point in my life the piercing shards of griefs that fragmented me, hid from me the secret recipe of bravery, which gladly I have now unearthed and so understand that it always is, and it always will be at the heart of every quest like those in search of the holy grail; and in the soul of every tale wrapped in a sheath of inspiration.

  There have always been rousing moments wherein I have felt that a journey to the farthest destination can bring back what I once had or perhaps render it better than I had ever dreamt of. But now, every waking minute I can’t help but think that my inspiration was within me all the while, and that the destination journeyed to was just a catalyst that enabled the bravery I had in me from the start of life, which I never knew, but I so do now and forevermore.

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